My fellow patriots, I'm sure
you all remember when, during the campaign, I promised to Make Twelve-Tone
Great Again. And we did. Nothing
but the 2nd Viennese School, 24/7. It
was an amazing, beautiful, tremendous campaign. I had the biggest Electoral
College Win in history. But Melania pointed out that the acronym for Make
Atonality Great Again fits better with my MAGA message. And we already have the
caps. Frankly, this is greater, believe me. Jared will head it up. Ivanka will
design an atonal clothing line. We're doing well with the twelve-tone people,
but also with the blacks, the women, the Latinos, the African-Americans. To be
perfectly honest, we're popular with everybody.
So today, we're launching our
amazing campaign here in Brentwood, California, where Arnold Schoenberg was
born. He's a guy who continues to get recognized more and more, that I will
tell you. He was there at the oranges of the whole atonal thing.
We'll be, in a very short
time, a couple of months, putting on a production of his opera Moses und Aron, with Chris
Christie and Steve Scalise starring. "Verklarte Nacht," we've done something tremendous with this piece. It will be all
bassoons, in a new version by Kevin McCarthy, another guy from California who's
doing an outstanding job. Kellyanne will be singing "Nachtwandler."
You don't want to miss this, I'm telling you. We have Gustavo, who I've known
since he came here from Costa Rica, coordinating the whole thing. The Dude!
We'll open in Branson, Missouri, for two weeks, and then go on a nine-month
tour of the deep South, where they love us. We do very well there. We're
looking to bring in Roy Moore to conduct "Gurrelieder." To be perfectly honest, this will be something
we've never seen before. It will be UUUUGE! Burger King and Coca-Cola will
sponsor the whole thing. The ratings we'll get! FABULOUS!!
Then we've got Steve King to play
the "Piano Suite," Op. 25. You'll never hear anything better,
it's not gonna happen, okay? And due to popular demand, we're bringing back Carly Fiorina to sing "Pierrot
Lunaire." She was a candidate for president a while, but she fell off the
stage. We love you, Carly. Elegant. Fantastic.
We
also will feature "Herzgewachse," Op.
20 with Joni Ernst. That girl can sing high. So high! UNBELIEVABLE!
And I
haven't even mentioned yet – Maestro Alvin Berg. We'll do the Altenberg Lieder with Hope Hicks. She's
very talented. Incredible. A lot of people are saying she could be the star of
the whole thing. And of course Lulu
will be the grand finale, with Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Speaking of the
Huckabee's, Mike has done a new special version of Webern's Movements (5) for string quartet, Op. 5.
For five Fender basses. That's Anthony Webern . . . or Anton von Webern
. . . or Tony. He answers to all three.
As
for Ernst Krenek . . . I'm going to maybe – and I'm looking at it very
seriously – we're doing some other things that you probably noticed like some
of the very important things we're doing now. But we're looking at it very
seriously. But "Jonny spielt auf," I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
Obama
did nothing like this, by the way, and very badly. So phoney! It's a DISGRACE!!
He invited some guy named Hamilton to the White House to perform. I've never
even heard of the guy. I don't know him. We heard it was boring. Dumb.
Overrated. SAD!
In
all honesty, we asked Governor Romney to join us. We asked him to conduct the Erwartung Op. 17. He turned us down! People
thought it was going to happen. I don't understand it. It was a perfect call.
Perfect, believe me. Everyone is now saying he doesn't have a clue. He's a
disaster. WEAK! He’s
a low-energy person, let’s face it. We don’t need low energy. We need lots of
energy.
So
that's our story. Make Atonality Great
Again. Like it was when America was great. It will be amazing. Beautiful.
Bigly. THE BEST!!
